• Eva Lajoie

Sex Work and Emotional Manipulation

Updated: Aug 26, 2020

Back in the winter of 2018 when I was but a novice stripper having only worked for a little over a month, I met a man at the club who happened to be an emotional manipulator. What does that mean exactly? Some might suppose that this means curbing one’s emotions to better suit the requests of the manipulator, but what it also entails is the potential for real energetic danger. As someone who was new to the Sex Industry and all too trusting handing out personal information to paying strangers, this dangerous individual was compiling the information I willingly gave while working his way into my mind through thoughtfulness and emotional connection. Have you ever heard of the term ‘psychic attack’? Sounds like something Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation would know everything about – but in our reality this is actually an occurrence too. Imagine going about your day like everything is fine and normal, then someone pops into your brain… “Hello? Why on Earth am I thinking of you in this moment?” Though you may not have recognized how your brain got to that point, consider the very real possibility that this person is reaching you via a mental or emotional connection. This is done by continuous thinking or recalling emotions and feelings of the person you share a connection with – eventually with enough sustained mental energy you might potentially reach that person in mind, body and spirit.

'Silvia Stardust' in the club changing room.

How is it that I willingly shared personal information with a random person at work, you might ask? It sounds like the most basic wisdom someone new to the industry should be wary of, but I daresay, emotional manipulation can happen to anyone no matter what connection is made, or what information is shared, real or make-believe. At the time of meeting this man my relationship with my partner was on the fritz. I opened up to this stranger about some of my hardships in my personal life just as a means of conversation, and he internalized all of it and made me feel validated for my doubts. It felt nice to be heard and accepted as the new Sex Industry professional I was, rather than as someone who became a Sex Worker just to consciously inflict pain onto my partner (I do it for the money and the dancing). Where all my other connections to my patrons at the club seemed relatively safe, why would I assume this seemingly normal person was a threat to my well-being? I was not in the slightest attracted to this man, but something told me to open up to him more willingly; little did I know it was him, on a very subtle wavelength of my own mind.

After months of exchanging conversation with this individual in cyberspace and reality, he came to be one of my cherished club regulars that I appreciated for his insights, money and willingness to listen. “I love you as a person.” I would say, just as I say to any one of my friends. Eventually it happened one day that I felt I was telepathically connected to this person, which was neat in hindsight, but incredibly toxic years after the fact. My energy system soon became infected with this individual. Having made many emotional and mental connections with this person, I felt his presence near me on a daily basis. My mind was littered with thoughts of him – I was making connections to aspects of my own life that I never intended to make, on many relatable levels. This man, intent on keeping up his presence in my mind, would cater to my emotional and financial needs and think his way into my life by appealing to my sexuality and accomplishments at work.

Months went by and I eventually recognized that I was not seeking a real-life sexual connection with this man, not even after my own personal relationship ended, and so I began separating myself from him. I explained to him my feelings, or lack thereof online and hoped to amicably move on from our acknowledgements. He did not take kindly to the fact that I was not interested, and then decided to leech his energy into my body. I did not know this was a possibility till recently, and having experienced the worst bodily sensations over this dangerously-clingy psychopath, I now recognize wholeheartedly -the dangers of letting someone into your psyche. I’ve outlined some ways to overcome emotional

manipulation or otherwise “energetic rape” below:

1) Block the Individual on All Accounts

At all costs remove the person in question from your life. Block this person on all social media accounts, do not engage with them in reality, and try your hardest to never think of them ever again.

2) Stay Positive

When your mind is being dragged in every direction, or towards someone who just won’t stop begging for your mind’s attention, it is best to keep positive by focusing on your own life and on topics or memories that make you happy. It’s very easy to feel powerless when someone is stealing your mind’s attention because of the lack of control you have over your mental processes. Try focusing your attention on the things that truly matter.

3) Seek Professional Help

I mentioned earlier that I only recognized how dangerous energy-leeching is much more recently, and the reason for that is because I started seeing a Spiritual Healer. What they do is read into your energy and clear away any entities or energies that are lingering from other people or past situations. I did not understand this was a possibility till I had the procedure done, and I will say that the arise of feelings which occur during the cleansing process are very real and very instantaneous. Sharing energy with patrons as a Sex Worker is no easy feat, because you are literally healing them with sexual energy – so seeing another energy healer is actually hugely helpful. I would seek out a trusted and renowned Spiritual Healer in your area and pay for therapy till you feel relieved from the energetic weight of the leechers. You will feel tired and silent, but much lighter and clear-minded.

4) Yoga, Mindfulness and Meditation

One of the best ways to move on from a bad situation is upkeeping your well-being with exercise and stretching, good nutrition, and mediation. I find that after my bi-monthly healing appointments I’m always more than willing to meditate longer, pray more often, and observe my own thought-processes in silence. This keeps your own neural pathways in check and ensures its actually you who’s doing the thinking, and not someone else latched onto your mind.

After now working in the Sex Industry for over 2.5 years I can say that being fairly honest with my patrons is still something I do. I am more aware of the kinds of toxic patterns of behavior that point out some red flags within the individual, but I am still learning. I believe that being honest in my profession is something I’m entitled and required to do, in order to upkeep the integrity of my job position, which is one taken very seriously. Sex work is work, and hard work at that – in my daily life I strive to show that we are people coming from many different walks of life that require inclusivity and equality within all communities. So, support your local strip club! Come catch a show and indulge in an evening of pleasure!


Eva Lajoie ‘Silvia Stardust’

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